When Your Values Conflict

I recently had to say no to an opportunity I had wanted for years—and it taught me something powerful about living by your values.

I spent 14 years as a spin instructor—10 of those at MVP Sports Clubs in West Michigan. It started as a side gig, but it quickly became so much more. I used to joke that it was my therapy, my medication, my happy place —all rolled into one.

It was also the longest I had ever stayed with a company and the first place I truly felt a sense of belonging. The connection ran through the entire organization—from management and fellow instructors to the members who showed up week after week.

The only reason I left was because I moved to Colorado.

And honestly, it’s one of the things I miss most about Michigan.
Number one was my son. Then MVP. Then Meijer. (If you know, you know.)

For the last five years I’ve thought about how great it would be to teach again. So when an opportunity finally came along, I was over the moon excited.

It felt like coming home.

Teaching aligns with so many of my core values—health, connection, adventure (because every class is an adventure). It’s also something I encourage people to do in my coaching: identify what brings you joy and do more of that.

But as soon as I accepted the offer, something felt off.

Anxiety started creeping in. I had several sleepless nights. It didn’t make sense—until it did.

I was out of alignment with one of my core values: integrity.

When I first started teaching spin, life looked very different. I was married with kids at home. I had a flexible W-2 job that made early morning classes easy. I wasn’t traveling much.

Today I travel more—for work and for fun. I have regular family commitments out of state. And I realized that if I moved forward with this opportunity, I would likely have to sub out at least half of my classes.

That’s not fair to the gym. And it’s not fair to the members.

So I had to make the call and say no.

What this experience reminded me is that sometimes our values contradict each other.

When that happens, two questions can help bring clarity:

1. Which value is dominant in this situation?
Some values carry more weight depending on the context. In this case, integrity had to take priority—even though the opportunity aligned with several other values.

2. What will create the best alignment long term?
Sometimes what feels exciting right now doesn’t support who we’re becoming. Looking honestly at future commitments helped me see the bigger picture.

Since making the decision, the anxiety is gone. The sleep is wonderful again. And my energy is back where it belongs—focused on speaking, coaching, and time with family.

Living by your values doesn’t mean every decision will be easy.
But when you honor the one that matters most, the peace that follows is unmistakable.