Debunking the “People Person” Myth

If you’re a leader who believes genuine human connection with your team is only possible if you’re a “people person,” I have a story for you.

I once worked with a CEO who was great at kissing babies and making people smile. He was likable and a lot of fun to be around. But when I would approach him for support, I could barely get two sentences out before he was telling me what I needed to do or how to fix the problem.

Most of the time, he didn’t actually understand the challenge, what I had already tried, or what I was asking for. I would leave those conversations feeling unheard and unvalued within the organization.

Eventually, I left.

He was a “people person,” but he wasn’t an effective leader.
Surface-level charm without substance isn’t connection—it’s performance.

On the other hand, some of the most effective leaders I’ve worked with are stoic, even a little dry. But they are intentional in how they interact with their teams.

They listen more than they speak.
They ask follow-up questions.
They probe deeper to understand what’s really going on.
They seek to understand before they respond.

And because of that, their people feel seen, heard, and valued.

Why does this matter?

Because connection creates a sense of belonging. And people stay where they feel they belong. They rally around leaders who value them.

The result?
More alignment around goals.
Lower turnover.
Greater resilience to burnout—because people know their work matters.

So if you’ve been thinking human connection at work is reserved for the natural “people people,” think again.

Connection isn’t about personality.
It’s about intention.

And the good news? These are skills that can be learned.

If you’re ready to start building stronger connection with your team, reach out. This is the work I help leaders do every day—and it’s work I’ve been practicing for a very long time.